Sunday, October 07, 2007

Canadian politicking (and the reason I care) 

So I'm reading this really long post about some voting thing going on in Ontario. There's a whole lot of text there about stuff I guess would be interesting if I didn't live in Texas, but none of that mattered, because I froze at this line:

"This Wednesday, Ontarians are going to the polls to decide whether Dalton McGuinty or John Tory is the least depressing fuckup."

I think it's pretty funny this guy's last name is actually Tory, and Leah confirms that he is, in fact, a member of the Conservative Party of Canada. They are called the Tories.

This is awesome.

I started thinking about what a wonderful world we would live in if all politicians had very, very literal names, so we had every idea of what we were getting into when we voted for them. Some examples:

* Larry I Totally Fuck Guys Craig
* George W. Let Me Get Back to You When I Figure Out How the DHS and Wiretapping Program, plus the Huge Deficit and Obnoxious Foreign Policies Fit Into the Whole Small Government/Fiscally Conservative Thing, Jr.
* Associate Justice Shit-Ass Crazy About Abortion (any)
* Rudy Every Answer I Give to Every Question Is Scarier Than The Last One Giuliani

Or, in the realm of punditry:

* Lou Everything Is the Fault of Mexicans Dobbs
* Sean Holy Shit Did I Really Just Say "Islamonazi" Hannity
* Ann Move Along, Nothing to See Here Coulter
* Bill If I Keep Repeating Lunatic Bullet Points Long Enough, Eventually They Will Become Fact O'Relly

Hey, this is pretty fun! Can you come up with any of your own? Best one gets an internet cookie.

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