Friday, March 18, 2005
The trailing edge of comics.
I could be doing useful things for my blog. I could be trying to recapture my glory days (about a year ago, I wrote some pretty good stuff) or I could be cleaning up my blogroll link list thingy bop, clearing out the dead space, bringing in the new folks. Not that I really know who any of them are.
(And I have to ask: Am I still relevant? The answer, I think, is "I never was." But I move on.)
Instead I'll just be a trendy bitch. Consider it like 24 hour news networks: all the easy stories, none of the tough stuff.
ONE HUNDRED THINGS I THINK ARE PRETTY KEEN ABOUT COMICS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, BUT KEEP IN MIND IF SOMETHING'S AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE LIST I'M REACHING AND IT'S PROBABLY NOT AS COOL AS THE SHIT NEAR THE TOP... EITHER THAT OR I JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT TILL THEN
1. Frank fucking Castle, and Marvel's strange tendency to keep publishing the exploits of a mass murderer
2. The CBLDF, warts and all
3. Fanboy Rampage
4. AiT/PlanetLar
5. The way Frank Miller draws guys with square jaws and sloped noses
6. Frank Miller
7. Garth Ennis
8. That comics is the only place where a story about a 150 year-old dude with claws in his hands who is a samurai, a spandex-clad superhero, and a feral beast is considered passé and creatively inert.. only in fucking comics, man. You'll be lucky if TV shows add even a slight shade of dimension to their usual shit ("it's a cop drama, but this time, he's BLIND!" "Write that man a check!")
9. 24 Hour Comic Book Day. That shit is fun. Don't be a pussy: sign up for it.
10. CAPE, surely the coolest Free Comic Book Day shindig around
11. Flight
12. The sheer, overwhelming force of Idea that is your typical Warren Ellis story
13. Human Target
14. Getting yourself heard -- actually heard -- by People Who Matter is never more than a few e-mails away
15. Promethea
16. Jonah Hex
17. Permanent Damage
18. Steve Gerber
19. Enormous breasts
20. Enormous guns
21. B&W as vibrant storytelling form
22. Hino Horror
23. 2000AD
24. The Comics Journal, the only monthly with the balls to take comics seriously
25. Covers of old romance comics
26. Charlton Comics
27. Marvel Masterworks/DC Archive Editions
28. 100 Bullets: First Shot, Last Call. The rest of the series is pretty good, but that one there approaches a kind of perfection
29. The Invisibles, for its dogged tenacity in remaining at right angles with all expectations
30. STEVE. FUCKING. DILLON.
31. Getting a convention painting done by a guy you think is Ben Templesmith, his sign says it's Ben Templesmith, you get charged the Ben Templesmith rate, and then finding out later IT WAS NOT BEN TEMPLESMITH
32. Dave Intermittent
33. Hearing Michael Lark really go to town on DC's bass-ackwards TPB policy exactly one day before he announces his jump to Marvel
34. Seeing The Punisher in the same theatre as Tim Bradstreet
35. E! C! COMICS!
36. Charlie Adlard
37. "Meanwhile..."
38. That first comic you picked up, read, put down, and thought "holy shit, I didn't think comics could be THAT GOOD!"... thus giving birth to a lifelong addiction
39. Ads in really old comic books that give you a little slice of the pop culture atmosphere of the time
40. Those California blogger people who consistently best the rest of us, the sons of bitches
41. Batman logos
42. Scurvy Dogs
43. Calling Marvel's EIC the Devil and canonizing him only after he's long gone, no matter who he may be
44. Newsarama, cuz they gotta put all those press releases SOMEwhere, else those digital trees were chopped down for nothing
45. ChaosMonkey
46. Marvel Essential collections
47. That you can get your own thing published and reasonably well-marketed for a couple grand, as compared to at least five times as much in any other art form
48. John McCrea
49. War Stories
50. Rocket Comics
51. The adorable notion that digital comics are ever, ever going to replace print comics
52. Milestone Comics
53. The Chick Check, which I sorely miss
54. The Image and Bendis boards, for providing concrete, quantifiable evidence that there's folks out there a lot stupider than us
55. Nick Fury
56. DC Vertigo
57. The Pro
58. While we're at it, Amanda Conner
59. Preacher, because for all its fireworks and bluster, its (rather amazing) emotional climax is a fight between best friends. You gotta admire that.
60. The way in old Marvel comics the main character has to explain his origin and powers in a cumbersome chunk of exposition right at the beginning
61. Viper Comics
62. John Byrne, for graciously providing the rest of the comics internet with a goddamn freakshow
63. Mark Millar when he's on
64. Peiratikos, who are gonna be SO pissed they were listed below Mark Millar
65. Rick Geerling. You're all shitheads for not recognizing genius right in front of you. He'll also be pissed he's listed below Mark Millar, which brings me joy unmatched.
66. Digest-sized TPBs
67. Darick Robertson
68. Really, really late-night discussions about who could beat Batman ("but is it in Gotham?")
69. Gail Simone
70. Johnny Bacardi, Latin hedonist
71. CrossGen, for providing proof positive that you really DO need good material, and lots of cash and flash just aren't enough
72. Jimmy Palmiotti, and how he seems to have his hand in ten thousand titles that rule
73. Image Comics
74. That part in Dark Knight Returns where Superman lifts that fucking tank up and says that line about gods walking the earth. Wow.
75. John Constantine
76. Harvey Pekar, damn near outweighted by all the whimpering, uninteresting, witless limpdick autobiographical imitators that followed
77. Free buttons from the DC booth at conventions
78. Avengers Disassembled and other faux-events, for providing the comics internet long reprieves from talking about anything that actually fucking matters
79. Bad Signal
80. Heidi MacDonald, despite past clashes
81. That comic shops are far less creepy than gaming shops, and people are a lot less likely to strike up unwanted conversations
82. Zeus Toys and Comics
83. Convention stories from comics pros
84. Deep, deep, DEEP (and sometimes half-drunk) late-night conversations about how you and the person you're talking to are going to SAVE COMICS... when was the last time you ever got that worked up about TV, or movies, or prose fiction?
85. Matt Maxwell
86. Dave Gibbons
87. Inheriting a box of comics
88. Otto's Coffee Shop
89. The Tick
90. Lone Wolf & Cub
91. Steve Lieber
92. Jack Staff
93. Daredevil, in small doses
94. Chaos Comics... cuz all the shit's gotta go somewhere, and I'm glad they willingly ghettoize themselves
95. Astronauts in Trouble
96. Isotope Comics, since it sounds like Mecca even though I've never been there (Mecca or Isotope)
97. Tim Sale, if only he could shake that Loeb fucker
98. Jason
99. Talking gorillas
100. That at least 200 people are going to read this list for no other reason than they dig comics and don't mind what I have to say about them. Allow me to be corny: that's a special thing.
Good lord, that was exhausting.
(And I have to ask: Am I still relevant? The answer, I think, is "I never was." But I move on.)
Instead I'll just be a trendy bitch. Consider it like 24 hour news networks: all the easy stories, none of the tough stuff.
ONE HUNDRED THINGS I THINK ARE PRETTY KEEN ABOUT COMICS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, BUT KEEP IN MIND IF SOMETHING'S AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE LIST I'M REACHING AND IT'S PROBABLY NOT AS COOL AS THE SHIT NEAR THE TOP... EITHER THAT OR I JUST FORGOT ABOUT IT TILL THEN
1. Frank fucking Castle, and Marvel's strange tendency to keep publishing the exploits of a mass murderer
2. The CBLDF, warts and all
3. Fanboy Rampage
4. AiT/PlanetLar
5. The way Frank Miller draws guys with square jaws and sloped noses
6. Frank Miller
7. Garth Ennis
8. That comics is the only place where a story about a 150 year-old dude with claws in his hands who is a samurai, a spandex-clad superhero, and a feral beast is considered passé and creatively inert.. only in fucking comics, man. You'll be lucky if TV shows add even a slight shade of dimension to their usual shit ("it's a cop drama, but this time, he's BLIND!" "Write that man a check!")
9. 24 Hour Comic Book Day. That shit is fun. Don't be a pussy: sign up for it.
10. CAPE, surely the coolest Free Comic Book Day shindig around
11. Flight
12. The sheer, overwhelming force of Idea that is your typical Warren Ellis story
13. Human Target
14. Getting yourself heard -- actually heard -- by People Who Matter is never more than a few e-mails away
15. Promethea
16. Jonah Hex
17. Permanent Damage
18. Steve Gerber
19. Enormous breasts
20. Enormous guns
21. B&W as vibrant storytelling form
22. Hino Horror
23. 2000AD
24. The Comics Journal, the only monthly with the balls to take comics seriously
25. Covers of old romance comics
26. Charlton Comics
27. Marvel Masterworks/DC Archive Editions
28. 100 Bullets: First Shot, Last Call. The rest of the series is pretty good, but that one there approaches a kind of perfection
29. The Invisibles, for its dogged tenacity in remaining at right angles with all expectations
30. STEVE. FUCKING. DILLON.
31. Getting a convention painting done by a guy you think is Ben Templesmith, his sign says it's Ben Templesmith, you get charged the Ben Templesmith rate, and then finding out later IT WAS NOT BEN TEMPLESMITH
32. Dave Intermittent
33. Hearing Michael Lark really go to town on DC's bass-ackwards TPB policy exactly one day before he announces his jump to Marvel
34. Seeing The Punisher in the same theatre as Tim Bradstreet
35. E! C! COMICS!
36. Charlie Adlard
37. "Meanwhile..."
38. That first comic you picked up, read, put down, and thought "holy shit, I didn't think comics could be THAT GOOD!"... thus giving birth to a lifelong addiction
39. Ads in really old comic books that give you a little slice of the pop culture atmosphere of the time
40. Those California blogger people who consistently best the rest of us, the sons of bitches
41. Batman logos
42. Scurvy Dogs
43. Calling Marvel's EIC the Devil and canonizing him only after he's long gone, no matter who he may be
44. Newsarama, cuz they gotta put all those press releases SOMEwhere, else those digital trees were chopped down for nothing
45. ChaosMonkey
46. Marvel Essential collections
47. That you can get your own thing published and reasonably well-marketed for a couple grand, as compared to at least five times as much in any other art form
48. John McCrea
49. War Stories
50. Rocket Comics
51. The adorable notion that digital comics are ever, ever going to replace print comics
52. Milestone Comics
53. The Chick Check, which I sorely miss
54. The Image and Bendis boards, for providing concrete, quantifiable evidence that there's folks out there a lot stupider than us
55. Nick Fury
56. DC Vertigo
57. The Pro
58. While we're at it, Amanda Conner
59. Preacher, because for all its fireworks and bluster, its (rather amazing) emotional climax is a fight between best friends. You gotta admire that.
60. The way in old Marvel comics the main character has to explain his origin and powers in a cumbersome chunk of exposition right at the beginning
61. Viper Comics
62. John Byrne, for graciously providing the rest of the comics internet with a goddamn freakshow
63. Mark Millar when he's on
64. Peiratikos, who are gonna be SO pissed they were listed below Mark Millar
65. Rick Geerling. You're all shitheads for not recognizing genius right in front of you. He'll also be pissed he's listed below Mark Millar, which brings me joy unmatched.
66. Digest-sized TPBs
67. Darick Robertson
68. Really, really late-night discussions about who could beat Batman ("but is it in Gotham?")
69. Gail Simone
70. Johnny Bacardi, Latin hedonist
71. CrossGen, for providing proof positive that you really DO need good material, and lots of cash and flash just aren't enough
72. Jimmy Palmiotti, and how he seems to have his hand in ten thousand titles that rule
73. Image Comics
74. That part in Dark Knight Returns where Superman lifts that fucking tank up and says that line about gods walking the earth. Wow.
75. John Constantine
76. Harvey Pekar, damn near outweighted by all the whimpering, uninteresting, witless limpdick autobiographical imitators that followed
77. Free buttons from the DC booth at conventions
78. Avengers Disassembled and other faux-events, for providing the comics internet long reprieves from talking about anything that actually fucking matters
79. Bad Signal
80. Heidi MacDonald, despite past clashes
81. That comic shops are far less creepy than gaming shops, and people are a lot less likely to strike up unwanted conversations
82. Zeus Toys and Comics
83. Convention stories from comics pros
84. Deep, deep, DEEP (and sometimes half-drunk) late-night conversations about how you and the person you're talking to are going to SAVE COMICS... when was the last time you ever got that worked up about TV, or movies, or prose fiction?
85. Matt Maxwell
86. Dave Gibbons
87. Inheriting a box of comics
88. Otto's Coffee Shop
89. The Tick
90. Lone Wolf & Cub
91. Steve Lieber
92. Jack Staff
93. Daredevil, in small doses
94. Chaos Comics... cuz all the shit's gotta go somewhere, and I'm glad they willingly ghettoize themselves
95. Astronauts in Trouble
96. Isotope Comics, since it sounds like Mecca even though I've never been there (Mecca or Isotope)
97. Tim Sale, if only he could shake that Loeb fucker
98. Jason
99. Talking gorillas
100. That at least 200 people are going to read this list for no other reason than they dig comics and don't mind what I have to say about them. Allow me to be corny: that's a special thing.
Good lord, that was exhausting.
