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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Radio Free Id, Part 2. 

1) Mild response to the post from yesterday. The most informative responses of all were the e-mails I got from folks who wanted me to be more vicious than I was. Interesting. Anyone else want to pick up the ball on this, or will I remain the shit-stirrer?

The silence is a touch disappointing. Not because I wanted to create meaningless controversy, but because I wanted people to actually start thinking about why the fuck they blog. I don't want to hear any of this shit about "because it keeps me writing," or whatever; those are lame, cop-out reasons to free you of any potential responsibility. And besides, if that were the case, why do you have a linkbar? Why is your blog not password-protected?

You want to be public. So why?

2) What's with new cars? They're all about half a foot taller than they need to be, two feet wider than they need to be... and I'm not just talking about oversized SUVs or something. Cars look puffy, like they're inflatible. Just saw some jackass tooling around in some Stay-Puft Chrysler convertible, licorice red, and he was very happy about it, you could tell. I'm sure all the chicks in Candyland were digging on his completely ridiculous ride, though.

Man, give me a future where all the cars look like DeLoreans. I can't handle this shit.

3) Small publishers, let's try a novel concept. HOW ABOUT GIVING ME A SUMMARY OF YOUR FUCKING STORY ON THE BACK OF YOUR GODDAMN TRADE PAPERBACKS? I don't want to pick up a book with an interesting cover, turn it over, and see quotes like "IT'S ABOUT TIME. IT'S ABOUT LOVE. IT'S ABOUT LIFE." over a picture of some dude shaking out a rug or something. And below that are some quotes from jackhole websites about an author's PREVIOUS work.

IT TELLS ME NOTHING, AND IN FACT MADE ME PUT YOUR BOOK DOWN.

I don't understand. The idea is to get books into peoples' hands, right? You want to SELL the product, for reasons various and sundry?

SO WHY DO YOU MAKE IT SO HARD ON THE FUCKING CONSUMER? WHY MUST THE CONSUMER DO ALL THE WORK? WHY WILL YOU NOT MEET US HALFWAY?

This is not a hard concept to grasp.

4) That whole opening sequence to the remake of Dawn of the Dead is just fucking superb, isn't it?

5) I appreciate all that Dirk Deppey did for blogs, but we need to stop talking about this guy like he's Jesus. The rush to be "more like Dirk" is a loser's gambit; do we want to be clones or do we want individual voices? Why do we want to emulate patterns of the past, instead of creating new ones? Are we really so small-brained, so self-referential, so cursedly aware of ourselves that we want to start eating our tails that quickly?

6) Comics piss me off because I love them so much. But comics are so very, very timid. My violent reintroduction to comics back in 2001 was via Frank Miller, and ever since then I've been frustrated that not everyone tries for that kind of energy, zeal, or simple balls-out passion for the form.

And when I say "comics," I mean the whole world of them, inside and out. Not just the floppies. You guys are part of that.

I do not want to read about Hal Jordan. I do not want to read another snarky dismissal of a safe target like Identity Crisis. I don't want to hear ANOTHER GODDAMN REFERENCE to superhero readers living in their mom's basement. All of that crap -- that's pure intellectual laziness.

Start using teeth when you talk, or shut up.

7) WHY DID YOU FUCK WITH THE CAMERA IN GRAND THEFT AUTO?!

8) What one person has called a binary philosophy, that pisses me off. No one is all saint or all devil. Black and white is worthless when talking about human beings.

Who I'm thinking of is Julius Schwartz. Seems to be the popular opinion is he's either the Savior of Comics or A Dangerous, Dirty Old Man Excused By Other Dangerous, Dirty Old Men. That either his lecherous habits should be ignored because of his achievements, or his achievements are for naught because he was sleazy.

Ridiculous. That's the kind of simplistic, childish morality worthy of... why, a 1960's superhero comic book.

Has anyone here ever known anyone that could be defined that simply?

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