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Thursday, September 02, 2004

Some stuff. 

RAGEFUCK POST RATING: 2

1) Hello, CBR.

2) In a startling new development, Green Lantern psychoes are getting worked up about something that has no impact on real life, or, for that matter, real comics. ("Real" has a very specific meaning, here.) But we all know what I think about the Green Lantern concept, don't we?

3) Nothing. There is no third thing.

4) R.I.P. Grotesque Anatomy. That is horribly fucking depressing. I vote everyone go on over to GA and tell Jakala you won't stop commenting on his blog till he starts blogging again. If that makes any sense. (It doesn't.)

5) Galactus and "Better Living Through Chemistry" on the New Avengers? I'd buy 20 copies of that and hand it out to friends. (Thanks to Rick for spottin' it.)

6) Thank the fuck christ for Bullseye: Greatest Hits. It may or may not be a worthwhile series, I can't really tell yet, but I'm just glad to see Dillon pencilling on a major title right now. If I had my way, he'd be pencilling ... like everything.

7) I'm a Birds of Prey fan, but I can't for the life of me attach a definite personality to Black Canary. Who the hell is she? And that's not a call for elaborate backstories, fanboy -- tell me WHY SHE MATTERS? What's intriguing about her concept? If it's there, maybe I just haven't seen it yet. Huntress: interesting. Oracle: interesting. Black Canary: blank slate in fishnets. Being blonde, a little sassy, and having a sonic scream isn't enough to sell me on the concept.

8) It's really funny to be watching the WE Channel (don't ask why) and seeing previews for that movie Molly, and lo and behold, the sensitive therapist who (creepily) loves Molly just the way she is is none other than the Punisher. I laughed. So what? You did too, you fuckin' hypocrite.

9) I want you to do me a favor, and it's a big one, because it takes some time. I want you to go out to Taco Bell and get like 20 burrito supremes, or whatever they call them. Eat them all in one sitting. I know, I know; just do it. You'll get your chance to vomit later.

Wait about 6 hours, and during that time eat lots of fiber. Now go to the bathroom. Do what comes natural.

Now I need you to vomit the rest of the fiber/burrito stuff into the bowl, on top of your droppings.

What you are now looking at has more deeply affected the world than the Olympics.

10) Fallen Angel contest. Enter it. Win an autographed trade. Very easy.

11) I'm glad THE ROOMMATE and I get the privilege to pay Comcast to monopolize our cable service selection. I'm also glad we pay them an obscene amount of money to have a fucked-up cable connection that works for spurts of 20 minutes at a time before randomly giving out. But the best part! The best part is not getting a technician for four days after phoning it in. It's like those folks at McDonald's say: I'm lovin' it, now pass me the Pepto!

12) Dorian speaks wise, as he is wont to do: ...there are plenty of comics for kids, and plenty of kids who read comics. We've got a big section in the store of kid-appropriate comics and it does brisk business. And that's not even mentioning the manga. So, again, when people say that "there are no comics for kids" or "kids don't read comics" what they really mean is: "kids today don't read the kinds of comics I read when I was their age." Which is really a rather self-centered and narcisstic view, I think. There's no logical reason in the world why kids today would want the same kinds of entertainment as kids ten, twenty, thiry, forty, etc. years ago would.

13) Nothing. Leave.

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