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Friday, June 11, 2004

Dream Teams. 

Well, everybody's doing it, and who am I to ignore the trends of the blog-hive?

MY AWESOME DREAM TEAMS

Frank Miller and Lynn Varley, on Power Girl: Because that'd be really fucked up, don't you think?

Jeff Parker, on Black Widow: Well, he likes the international espionage, doesn't he? And the parallels between a relatively free-agent Black Widow and his Interman are pretty obvious. Make her ditch the cat suit and stick to something a bit more traditional, and you've got yourselves a solid book.

Jeph Loeb and, I dunno, Michael Turner or something, on West Coast Avengers: Because they deserve no better. Fucking hacks. The fanboys would probably make this a 150,000-sales-per-issue title, though.

Steven Grant and Charlie Adlard, on The Punisher: Why Steven Grant on that title? If you're asking that question, please leave my blog right the fuck now. Why Charlie Adlard? Because though he keeps a consistent style, he's still very much a chameleon of an artist: witness the relatively cleaned-up fun of Astronauts in Trouble or the pavement-tough edge of Codeflesh. The latter will be called for. Keep it B&W, too, and no grayscale either. Fits with Monsieur Castle's worldview.

Chris Claremont and John Byrne on Uncanny Wolverine: Here's my brainstorm: instead of having Wolverine appear in half the books that Marvel puts out every month, why not just condense all those appearances into one all-new book? Follow the exploits of like 15 Wolverines on one team as they wear eyepatches, say smug things at each other, and pop claws threateningly at half the Western Hemisphere whenever they run into the slightest bit of resistance. Sadly, I see this book making about a billion dollars.

Mike Mignola, Ghost Rider: So long as he gives GR a brain. I wouldn't mind seeing a big flaming skull done up Mignola-style for 100+ panels an issue.

Brian Azzarrello and Eduardo Risso, on Kingpin: Duh. No capes or masks, though. Just Kingpin, his crime cartel, and the streets.

Michael Lark, on Hellblazer: Okay, any writer I can think of to go with Lark has already been on the title. Hellblazer is like the farm team for Ken's Favorite Writers. As has been established in Gotham Central, though, Lark is pretty comfortable drawing trenchcoats, rain, and smoking. Write that man a check!

Denis Leary and Frank Quitely, on Green Arrow: So I'm watching The Ref the other night, and Leary's got this pointy goatee and mustache thing going on... and he's ranting, right? At Kevin Spacey, about why he hates upper-middle class types. And it clicks, baby. This guy is the Green fucking Arrow. Marvel gets "Hollywood" writers all the time, why can't I? Imagine the piss and vinegar, imagine the humor, imagine slyness inserted in the cracks between huge dialogue balloons by Quitely. It'd be a thing of beauty.

Angelina Jolie and Rosario Dawson, on My Bed: That would rule.

Garth Ennis and Joe Kubert, on Captain America: Stick with me, here. I'm not talking about modern Cap. I'm talking about WW2 Cap, and without the fucking uniform already (maybe the mask, but that's it.) Make Cap a prisoner of war, give him a German counterpart to fight, whatever; just fuck with his head while taking him seriously. At that point in his career Cap is a guy hepped up as a PR move and not "the embodiement of an ideal," so he can still be quite human. Me, I'd love to see Cap with a goddamn Thompson and a five o'clock shadow, kicking ass all through the Western Front.

Andy Diggle and Jock, on Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Retrograded as well, to the 1960's. The title would require both humor and intense action, along with a highly distinctive visual style, and this pairing have got all that and then some.

More to come, on my next post, titled "Dream Teams: The Big Idea." It's big, baby. Big like my johnson.

This is fun, I gotta admit, even if it's totally fanboyish.

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