Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Movie Madness. 

So, if this shit is true, we can safely surmise that everything that has EVER been put down in comic book form, EVER, is being adapted into a movie. And anything even vaguely sci fi-ish that has overtones of comic book.

First there's 30 Days of Night, which, to me, was a series that had fantastic art, a great concept, so-so dialogue, and pretty bad pacing ("What, it's done already?"). That's fine, though. That series seemed to be written in such a way that it begged to be made into a movie, and I'm thinking a movie version can, for once, actually expand on the comic book it's based off of.

And it turns out there WILL be a Firefly movie, at least so far as we know now. The logic there doesn't seem, how shall we say, sound. A TV show that performed horrendously badly (for whatever reason), only made it through a handful of episodes, and was summarily yanked? Now to be helmed by the creator, who currently has nothing to his record except THREE cancelled shows? And the fact that it's set at a particular spot in time after the series ended, indicating the need for knowledge of the series to enjoy the movie itself... good lord, man, how many strikes against can a movie start off with?

Aliens vs. Predator. I just watched the exclusive online trailer last night (which has, since then, apparently been removed), showed it to a friend of mine, and she asked the most critical question of all: "Why are there humans in there, at all?"

Good question. Other good questions: Why does this movie look like it's going to be serious? The charm of Freddy vs. Jason was that it had charm, and did not even remotely try to be scary. The movie knew why the audience was there. Give us entertainment, give us laughs, give us a fuckton of blood, and give us big badass fight scenes. This, though...

And really, guys. Mort the Dead Teenager? Aeon Flux? Sword of Dracula? I have nothing against the latter (and everything against Aeon Flux), but it's only had three issues released so far.

Newsflash: It's not a good thing when every comic book title under the sun is being converted into a movie. Hollywood has a very distinct, very cynical attitude of "if it works, copy it to fucking death over the next three years," and eventually the bottom's going to fall out. Do you think Hollywood, and the comic book creators who pimped themselves out to Hollywood, will suddenly learn restraint and pace things out, make sure each comic book movie is a quality release?

No. Hollywood will drop comic books like so much flaming feces and move on to the next bankable trend, and Marvel, with its ambitions to be Hollywood's House of Ideas, will be left in the dust to deal with debts and a string of bad movies that will mar their previous successes.

Mark my damn words.

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